Ahhh, so let’s see, where were we?
We took the fork in the road, oh yes.

We had been hearing such conflicting reports about downtown lately. Every once in a while someone I have some respect for, you know, I think they are actually sane AND rational, will say something like, “I really like downtown!” WHAT? How could that be?

So off we went to see for ourselves and then will go back to our blogs and report that IS a shithole, it is STILL a shithole and it is always going to be a shithole. Plus, I’d be able to tell my reader what is was she wanted to know. Okay, no I won’t. I won’t because it was so long ago that I have no idea what it was she wanted me to check on. Sigh. And I do not have a working camera. Well, it works, but it is full of video, so I couldn’t take a photo even if I remembered what it was I was supposed to be looking for.

Obstacle. Where do you park downtown? Beats me! But I was driving so this responsibility sort of falls in my lap. I know one of the casinos has a big parking lot with free parking, however, I’d be damned if I could remember what the place was called. I saw a sign that said FREE PARKING with a big ass arrow on it, big enough so my old, tired eyes could figure out where it was pointing, so I headed for it. It was the Binions Parking garage. Cool! Lots of spaces too. Well, that was a little misleading. ALL the spaces on the first three floors were reserved. When they weren’t ‘reserved’ they were something else, I don’t remember what it was called but it meant the same damn thing.

And FREE appeared to have some unusual meaning according to the signs we saw as we were trapped in there going up a floor and up a floor in circles. It looked like we were going to have to pay something. We read the signs on the empty stalls and kept driving and kept an eye out for a better explanation of FREE. Were we going to have to pay or not have to pay? It was getting less and less clear.

Finally, on floor number 4, although it seemed like floor ten, there were lots and lots of empty parking spaces and no ‘reserved’ on them or anything else. I parked next to a pick up truck which was full of some sort of construction equipment. We were just about the only vehicles up there. The way I had it figured, if anyone was getting a burglarized auto it was going to be him and I’d be passed up. I parked all cockeyed in the spot, locked up the car and we went upon our merry way.

Oh! Another sign! Get your parking ticket validated at the cashier’s cage in Binions. Oh! Well, that’s a pain, but okay. I guess FREE still means free. And there was a three hour time limit. Plenty of time, because we’d be hard pressed to waste a whole hour in downtown.

We crossed the parking ramp bridge and took the elevator down to the ground floor. Rex actually came to a full stop before he got in to the rattle trap looking thing. He mentioned his delivery boy experience back east where he was trapped in one of these things for a very long time. All I could think of were those videos Huddler had posted on the Vegas Rex forum of a guy trapped in the elevator for four days smearing poop everywhere. Then we got in. Of course we got in, we were on an adventure…

First stop was the cashier cage at Binions. I had to stick the ticket in to this antique looking thing. It was like a very old time clock. And boy did it have a wallop, scared the shit out of me. I picked the ticket up off the floor and we headed for the Freemont Street Experience.

We wandered around the street in the crowd with Rex clicking away with his camera all the way. We were amazed at the crowd. There were people everywhere having fun! People of all ages were milling about like they were at the county fair trying a little of this, watching that, giggling, chatting, smiling at you as you went by. This was cool!

But the casinos, I knew what to expect. I knew they were the run down messes of an era completely gone by. A point came when I had to pee so I was going to have to go in to one of them.

OMG! They were clean. They were updated. There were people in them gambling. People of all ages. WTF? Forgetting all about how Rex gets accosted every time he pulls that camera up on a casino floor, I got him to pull it out and take a bunch of photos. Over here! Get over there too! This is COOL.

Some nice gentleman behind a gaming table got our attention and shook his head and explained we couldn’t take photos in there. Why? Who the hell knows… it is sort of the favorite chant of the gaming industry these days. I’m guessing they’d like to protect the privacy of a gambling Osama Bin Laden or something, beats me. Rex said he was a pit boss. Come to think of it, where were the little guys with the big chip on the shoulder who live to find VegasRex taking blog photos? They were nowhere to be found.

We finally got to the bathroom after asking a couple people. And what a lavatory it was. It was NICE. I mean really nice. There were two Mexican cleaning women sitting in the lounge area taking a break catching each other up on the families, just chattering away. This was the best head experience I’ve had in a long time. There were real paper towels in the towel dispenser, the place was spotless, the sinks worked, it was pretty. Then it happened, yeah, doesn’t it always? Someone took a smelly in there. Whew. Poor lady. Poor ME! I got out as fast as I could.

It was time for the light show. I’ve never seen it before. It was GRAND. We stood and listened to “Free Bird” wail through the speakers and watched birds and planes go over head in massive high tech video. I was loving it. Freemont Street was packed and no drunks puking or falling on us, just a bunch of pleasant people all watching this HUMONGOUS overhead movie.

There was a saxophonist playing between shows with a microphone. He wandered around in his designated area playing and talking to the people. Everyone gathered in a circle and enjoyed his show.
We edged our way towards the Plaza. Rex tried to take a few shots of me with the cool background of the plaza and the five billion others things that were going on. It didn’t work out the way he wanted but I didn’t look too terribly fat in the photos so it was fine with me.

We started hearing this really loud noise going on, and discovered they had some motorcycle going in and out of a round cage. Yeah! The bike would get into the cage and then go around and around and even upside down! That was pretty cool. Then they put another bike in there and then ANOTHER bike in there. I’m telling ya, that round cage was not all that big. Three motorcycles in there was just frightening. So, that wasn’t enough, they put some guy in there and two motorcycles went around him and around and around, even holding his head while they drove. It was something. Nobody crashed and everyone lived. A nice ending.

It was really hard not to notice Jesus’s little workers midway in the Freemont Street Experience. I was a bit concerned because I saw the one female elf for Jesus was wearing a bullhorn. That can’t be good. They had signs which were a good four feet tall and two feet wide. Must have been tough holding those all night, but they were working for the good of your soul, or something. They were not obnoxious at all, and sort of charming really. The guy had one of those carry along PA systems and he was talking about what Jesus did in his short life and on and on. The girl never did pull out the bullhorn, and I was glad for that. They were not littering with pamphlets or anything. Their presence was rather comical given where they were, but somehow that was nice too. A lot people were taking photos of them. God bless their hearts.

Time for another LIGHT SHOW! Wooohoo! This time it was Freddy Mercury and Queen. Awesome. I was mesmerized once again. It is too bad that man died so young. What a showman. He is missed.

Rex spotted some showgirls standing outside of Mermaids. Okay, time to pose Pam in the tourist position, sandwiched between two mermaid showgirls. The blonde did mention to me that they work for tips, so yeah, she got one. It was fun, and we got some beads. I’ve started a collection in my bedroom, hanging from the wall sconce.

There was a live band down there too. The guy who was on keyboards was a total doll. He looked a lot like Adam Curry from a distance and I wanted him. Wanted him bad. We watched them for a while and watched people watching them. I would have stood there all night watching that guy if Rex hadn’t dragged me away for the next thing to see.

We took a little bit of a walk outside the ‘safe zone’ of Freemont Street Experience. I don’t know why we did, maybe to see just how dangerous it is there. The blocks that surround the tourist area are really quite seedy. They have not been updated. That area is a very dangerous place just a couple of blocks away from where people are partying. You’ll see the occasional criminal walking around but everyone left us alone.

In some strange way it reminds me of the streets of Flat bush. There are little mom and pop places. Even an arab restaurant, which I found completely odd, but so it goes. We went into the pizza place so I could get a soda. It cost… get this… ONE DOLLAR. Have you ever heard of such a thing in Vegas?? That soda would have cost me five or more in some places on the strip. And it did smell REALLY good in there. Too bad I had already eaten dinner.

Unfortunately, some of the shops are vacant. This does the redevelopment down there no favors at all. It really looks bad, real bad. Hopefully some shops or eateries will move in there quickly and plug up those holes.

My car was still there in the Binions parking ramp. Nobody had touched it. There were security cameras in there. A lot of security cameras. You know those beams that go across the ceiling in those ramps? Every other one of them had a camera. Apparently, this garage had seen quite a bit of action in the past. The contractor’s equipment was still in his truck and my car was in one piece, with the sunroof still open. I guess we forgot about closing that, haha.

I’m really looking forward to going downtown again. It has this quaintness about it. It would be the perfect place for a large group of people to gather to have a wild, fun weekend. The workers there are friendly as are the tourists. It is easy to get everywhere quickly when you casino hop. There is so much to do and so many free things to enjoy. From what I hear, the gaming odds are better there also, but I don’t gamble so I don’t know for sure. I do know that I am now sold on the place. I love it down there. It is like a carnival or county fair only with very adult things to do. I can’t wait to go back.

Maybe you know some little places to go to
Where they never close
Downtown

Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle Bossa Nova

You’ll be dancing with ‘em too before the night is over,
Happy again…
The lights are much brighter there,
You can forget all your troubles; forget all your cares, and go
Downtown — where all the lights are bright
Downtown — waiting for you tonight
Downtown — you’re gonna be all right now…

Downtown…Downtown…Downtown…

Downtown!