Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

September 3, 2010

Three speeds - three different results

Dear Mark: I'm confused as to your answer last week to George R. regarding shuffling machines. You stated "What continuous shuffling machines and non-continuous shufflers alike will do is to cause the average player to lose more, simply because more hands are dealt per hour." I always assumed that playing on an automatic shuffling machine was different than continuous shufflers and were okay to play on. Dan L.

Agreed, Dan, there is difference between a continuous shuffling machine and a non-continuous automatic shuffler. A CSM randomly shuffles the discards after every round played, making for a game that flows faster, try 20% more hands per hour, which in turn increases your theoretical loss by the same measure.

But non-continuous automatic shufflers will also cause the average player to lose more - again, simply because more hands are dealt per hour. With shuffling machines of any kind, the built-in edge the casino holds doesn't change, yet the speed of the game does.

On average, Dan, plan on losing more money per hour against continuous shufflers, followed by non-continuous automatic shufflers, followed by what you should want to play on in the first place, hand-shuffled games.

Dear Mark: I have been playing cribbage for 27 years and have yet to get a 29 hand. I saw my first one last week but unfortunately it was not mine. What are the odds of getting a 29 hand? Is it harder than a royal flush? Lyle H.

Cribbage involves the playing and grouping of cards in combinations to gain points, 29 being the highest. There are four perfect hands in cribbage, one of each suit, which can produce 29 points. To accomplish perfection, your hand must consist of three 5s and a Jack, and the card turned up must be the fourth five, and must be the same suit as the Jack in your hand. Here is how the hand is scored: Eight combinations of "15" for 16 points, four-of-a-kind for 12 points, and a matching "nobs," the Jack, for 1 point, equaling 29 points.

As someone who has always held a cribbage board at arm's length, I seldom play the game. Instead, I use the crib board as a scoring apparatus for dominoes. But my Dad, a lifelong player, who, believe me, plays a lot of cribbage, was the first person I called to see how many 29's he's had in his 70-plus years of playing. Answer: NONE, and "never seen one, either." Considering that countless games he played against my Uncle Albin, that seemed odd. Which leads me to wonder how anyone could spend a lifetime playing a game and never attain the perfect hand. You at least saw a perfect hand, Lyle, but there sure must be some long odds of actually holding one.

According to the American Cribbage Congress, the odds of being dealt a perfect hand while playing against a single opponent are 216,580 to one. And if you are playing against two or three opponents, where you are dealt five cards and not six, those odds rise to one in 649,740. Now compare that to a royal flush on a 9/6 Jacks or Better machine, where a royal flush appears, on average, once in every 40,390 hands.

Keep playing, Lyle, maybe your day is coming. Oh, and if you ever do achieve the highest-scoring cribbage hand, please send me a picture for my Gambling Wall of Fame.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: Man is not a born gambler but, from his experiences in life, he acquires a fascination for the elements of chance. - J Philip Jones, Gambling Yesterday and Toady 1973

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Continuous Shuffling Machines Cribbage

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

August 27, 2010

The Standing Committee is called to order

Dear Mark: I am curious as to why casinos do not give you any $10 bills when you cash in a ticket at the cashier cage or the ticket redemption machine. What is their reasoning behind this? Stan P.

Being that over 10% of all newly printed US banknotes are $10 bills, that's a new one on me. All the places I play, Stan, my sawbucks go in, and nothing comes out. Possibly it's because Alexander Hamilton is on the ten-dollar bill, and he wasn't born in the United States. Birthers, chomp on that.

Sure, a few times when I worked the cashier's cage we wouldn't give out certain denomination banknotes on a busy weekend if they were in short supply, but that was prior to bill acceptors and counterfeiting, which leads me to believe possibly you may have a counterfeit problem where you play.

Back in 2005, over fifty thousand fake 10-dollar bills were used in slot machines at several casinos and convenience stores in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Reno. The bill validators inside some of the machines were not recognizing the fake bills, so the casinos had to set their machines to reject the ten-spots.

It was a bit frustrating for the casinos because in 2000, to combat evolving counterfeiting, Treasury issued a new $10 bill that was similar in style to the $20, $50, and the $100, bills that had already undergone design changes. A cage cashier could reject bogus banknotes because of inferior quality, but the fakes were good enough to fool bill acceptors.

The newest $10 bill entered circulation in March, 2006, with additional design changes that made them even tougher to counterfeit, and I'm assuming all bill acceptors have been updated by now, so I'm a little stumped at this point.

Now in the pit, Stan, it's a different story. Chips possess none of the qualities of real money. Dollars have a more familiar and "old pal" feel and are difficult to surrender; parting with a casino chip is child's play by comparison. That is why casinos prefer pit employees to "change color" or upgrade your chips. They are being courteous, yes, but also hoping it induces larger play. At the cashier's cage though, I think players would be more likely to pocket a $20 instead of two $10s.

So, Stan, I'll to throw your question out to the Standing Committee on Oddities (our readers, that is) and see if and why it's happening where they play.

Dear Mark: In blackjack, why are cards dealt face-up, and why are you not allowed to touch the cards when they are? Jenny S.

Casinos tend to get a little sensitive when players get touchy feely with the cards once the dealer starts dealing.

On a single and two-deck game where cards are dealt face down, players are allowed to pick the cards up with one hand, but not two. When four or more decks of cards are used, they are usually dealt face-up from a shoe, making it a hands-free game with no raison de touché for physical contact with the cards.

The rationale behind the cards being dealt face-up is that it speeds up the game. Dealers can instantly announce hand totals without themselves handling the cards. Additionally, it eliminates the potential for cheating by a player marking or switching them.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: We're encouraged to believe that it's okay for the Lottery to rob us blind because so much of the money is going to good causes. - Derek McGovern Racing Post 19 November 1994

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: $10 Bills Blackjack Face Up 21

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

August 20, 2010

A better deal? Well, not really.

Dear Mark: On a multi-line/multi-coin nickel machine, is it still considered a nickel machine in terms of payout percentage, or does it become a quarter machine payout because I'm playing more money per spin? Jason A.

You would think, Jason, that when you are betting an abundant crop of nickels per spin, you should be getting at least a quarter-slot payback. Unfortunately, you're probably not. Reason being, even though the machine may be designed to take 50, even 100 nickels per spin, the casino wants to keep that higher edge because lots of players play far fewer coins than that.

Yes, Jason, technically, in coin amount played, you are a quarter player, but your machine will only give you a nickel-slot payback, even if you play some hefty change per yank of the handle. Obviously, I can't speak for all slot managers and what they are acquiring, but if a casino has an 88% return on its traditional nickel machines, it probably orders an 88% payback on their multi-line/multi-coin machines.

The reason the casinos are putting in multi-line/multi-coin quarter machines is because players love them. That doesn't mean you have to play them. Instead, if you are a low-budget player, try a 3-coin nickel machine instead. You also do not have to play every line if you do favor them. One way to stretch your bankroll is to play fewer than the maximum lines allowed. On most machines you might give up a little bit in hit frequency, but nothing in long-term payback.

Far too many players, Jason, are betting big-time bucks on multi-line/multi-coin machines despite the relatively low paybacks. They don't even realize they have bumped themselves up to a quarter, even a dollar player, and not the five-cent player they think they are. Real nickel players bet three to five nickels at a time on a reel-spinner, not 100 coins per spin on a multi-line/multi-coin machine.

Dear Mark: What's the deal with Megabucks slots in Nevada, or any state for that matter? A friend swears that a slot mechanic told him there are different chips and thus different odds from casino to casino and the chips are moved around from time to time so the jackpot is hit at different locations. I insist that if it is a statewide-interlinked game, which it appears to be, then the odds must be the same and the chips are the same and there is no such thing as a phantom chip that travels the state. Who is correct? Thanks for the inside scoop or for directing me to a source that might have the official information. Lucky Bob

You are correct, Lucky. As Dziadzio (that's grandpa in Polish) used to say, you skeptics get all the luck. There is no phantom chip that travels the state.

The deal with Megabucks is that it is a statewide network of progressive slot carousels linked together to produce those dramatic jackpots. A small computer chip in each machine monitors every coin played and communicates that information electronically to a mainframe computer at IGT's headquarters. The central computer keeps track of every Megabucks slot and maintains a constant tally of the jackpot. Then the computer projects the ever-changing jackpot total to all Megabuck units where it is displayed on the digital tote board. You can also check out that moving tote real time at: http://www.megajackpots.com/wheretoplay/megabucks/

You should also feel reasonably comfortable that each machine's payback percentage, albeit very low because it's a monster progressive, is the same as the payback percentage of all the others that it's linked to.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: You don't gamble to win. You gamble so you can gamble the next day. - Bert Ambrose, Band leader

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Multi-coin Nickel Slots Megabucks

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

August 13, 2010

Does back-and-forth chip exchange happen?

Dear Mark: Can a casino change the paybacks on their slot machines instantly? I've heard they do it on busy weekends. You have said in the past they can't. Kelly D.

Whoa now, Kelly, I never said that casinos couldn't change paybacks on their machines. What I stated was that the casino doesn't throw a secret switch to instantly tighten their machines, because Kelly's coming on the weekend to try her luck. Wholesale reprogramming of machines on Friday, then changing them back on Monday, doesn't exist.

Yes, some gaming jurisdictions do allow casinos to have manufacturer's licenses allowing them to change the chips themselves. They would only have to file the obligatory paperwork with their state gaming commission, and the swap could be made. In other jurisdictions, a gaming commission agent must witness the changing of the chips, or an agent must make the change, and in yet others, the machine must be sent back to the manufacture for open chip surgery.

The reason a state's gaming commission is so interested in a chip swap is that it wants to verify that a machine is operating properly, and that the amount of money it pays out falls in the range predicted by the number of spins played on the machine.

So yes, Kelly, a casino can change the payback on any machine, when it wants. However, it is just not cost-effective for the casino to continually alter the payouts on their machines from weekday to weekend.

Dear Mark: If the dealer is showing a 9, 10, or an Ace, and my hand consists of a soft 18 with more than two cards, do you still hit it? Ed S.

With a two-card soft 18, basic strategy dictates that you stand against a two, double versus a three through six, stand if the dealer is showing a seven and eight, and hit against a nine, 10 or ace. The set-up in your question, a soft 18 consisting of more than two cards, wouldn't change that strategy. You should still hit it.

As tough as it is to do, Ed, you are still slightly better off by hitting a soft 18 with multiple cards than you would be by standing pat.

Dear Mark: If I insert my Players Club Card, play for a period of time, then remove it, will the machine start paying more because it knows I left? Also, do some casinos actually have slot machines that purposely lose money to stir interest in a particular area of the casino? Gail D.

A slot machine doesn't give one iota whether you are using a Players Card or trying to be sneaky by pulling it out making the machine think you're long gone.

The drawback to pulling out your card, Gail, is that you are cheating yourself out of some comps that otherwise you would have been entitled to. You need your play recorded in order to get your goodies.

As to your second question, Gail, casinos are not in the business of losing money by using shill machines. Over the long haul, it's nearly impossible for a casino to lose money on a slot machine.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: Gaming is an enchanting witchery, gotten betwixt idleness and avarice; An itching disease, that makes some scratch the head, whilst others, as if they were bitten by a Tarantula, are laughing themselves to death. - Charles Cotton, The Compleat Gamester 1674

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Slot Payback Changeblackjack Soft 18 Players Club Card

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

August 6, 2010

Sound of Silence

Dear Mark: Maybe it's me, but you just don't see or hear jackpots like in the past. But here's the interesting thing. The paybacks of where I play, according to Strictly Slots, which publishes slot returns percentages, are about the same. Any thoughts on this? Gerald C.

Taking the slot paybacks reported by your state gaming commission and published by Strictly Slots at face value, consider, Gerald, that you are seeing and hearing fewer jackpots compared to yesteryear, because most casinos today operate with ticket system machines. The "sounds of winning," thrummed out by those loud metal drop bowls that caught the slugs when your slot was paying off, are of times past. These deep pans made a heck of a lot of happy noise when the coins dropped, creating the misimpression that people were winning, and winning big.

Also, Gerald, with ticket system machines, the slot usually doesn't lock up and set off its jingle for a win of under $1,200; otherwise, everything less is added to the credit meter. Hand pays and hopper fills have also been reduced considerably with ticket machines.

The sense of great luck created by the clatter of falling coins is really nothing more than an illusion designed to stir interest in playing slot machines, but suggestible players mistake these audible events for increased jackpots.

Dear Mark: Last week you wrote that a royal flush occurs about every 40,000 hands. I've had a few over the years, besides, we have decent machines (9/6) where I play that keeps me in the game longer to get one. Well, Saturday night I hit my first, naturally dealt royal flush on a dollar machine. Didn't even have to hit the hold button. What are the odds of that happening? It has to be way more than 40,000 to one. Jim D.

On a 9/6 Jacks or Better machine -- 9/6 meaning a video poker machine that pays nine for the full house, six for a flush -- a royal flush appears, on average, once in every 40,390 hands. Ah, but that natural royal -- that's a delight that occurs only once per 649,740 hands. There's nothing better than no toil and a hand pay of crispy $100's.

Dear Mark: If a dealer places the dealt cards into a shuffling machine immediately after each hand, is there any advantage to a player who uses a card counting system? How about a player who doesn't? George R.

Even though continuous shuffling machines do NOT affect the odds of the game, they are of NO advantage for the counter, basic strategy player, or any player for that matter. What continuous shuffling machines and non-continuous shufflers alike will do is to cause the average player to lose more, simply because more hands are dealt per hour.

Unlike dealing a hand-shuffled game, the dealer never has to break to shuffle cards. With a built-in edge against the average player, along with an increase in the number of hands dealt, the casino enjoys more of an opportunity to whittle away at your wallet.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: I am not the least interested in the game, nor in whether I win or lose. I am only interested in whether or not the amount is large enough to be noticed. - Andre Citroen (d 1935) French motor-car tycoon

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Slot Jackpots Royal Flush Odds Shuffling Machine

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

July 30, 2010

The right to resign Scowlee status

Dear Mark: Why is it that every time I get a few dollars ahead in blackjack, the pit boss stands over the game and watches my play? Jeff K.

Fair enough, Fred; yes there are some pit bosses who stand guard over a blackjack table like the German Shepard in front of Col. Klink's office. They sweat the money as if it were their own spoils. But pit bosses know, or at least ought to know, that the casino will suffer short term losing streaks, and that the players' winnings more often than not will flow back the casino's way over time, simply because the longer folks gamble with the house's money, the more exposure they have to the casino's edge.

When I pit bulled, if the game was on the up-and-up, I wasn't on pins and needles when a player won decent chunk of money, even on a meager bankroll. It is not all that rare for a player to unleash a hundred dollar bill and run it up to four digits, or even higher. Plus, the house guards against financial ruin during your winning streak by setting table-betting limits. It is the "house limit" that protects the casino bankroll against your lucky assault.

Being that there are plenty of pit bosses who don't sweat the money, I would suggest that you move to another table, pit or casino where they actually prefer a few winners, because winners, Jeff, tell the 90 plus percent who lose where they won. PR like that just can't be bought.

Dear Mark: I read a column of yours where you talked about offsetting gambling winnings with gambling losses. Can I also offset gambling winnings with stock losses if I sell them in the same year at a loss? Earlier this year, I won a slot jackpot of $18,000. I have collected a few hundred dollars worth of lotto tickets, but I could include some stocks that I can take a loss on. James B.

Reportable gambling winnings reported on the Other Income Line (1040) can come from lotteries, bingo, raffles, horse and dog racing, online poker, casino table games, and of course, your slot jackpot win. You can, though, offset the taxes on your winnings by reporting your gambling losses. Unfortunately, gathering up a couple hundred in lottery tickets or scratch-offs isn't going to cut it, James, nor will your market losses.

As a loss-claimant, you must substantiate your loss claims with a flawlessly documented, descriptive gambling diary, but what you are not able to do is include your stock losses against your jackpot win. Only gambling losses can offset gambling wins. Uncle Sam won't let you counterbalance a stock market loss against a gaming windfall.

And there's more, James. Besides verifiable records necessary to support your losses pertaining to gambling, you can only deduct them if your deductions are itemized, and they must be deducted in the year of the loss or they are forever departed as deductions.

Oh, and if I haven't ruined your day yet, James, be aware that now that you have won a jackpot and received a W2-G, don't imagine that Uncle Sam doesn't know of your tax liability. The IRS also receives a copy of your W2-G from the casino, and their computers are acquainted with your payday before, dare I say, you give it all back.

Gambling Wisdom of Week: Next to the pleasure of winning is the pleasure of losing; only stagnation is unendurable. -Hubert Howe Bancroft California Inter Pocula 1888 US historian

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Blackjack Pit Boss Offseting Gambling Wins

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

July 23, 2010

The gentle art of tipping

Dear Mark: What would be the appropriate amount to tip someone that pays you your slot jackpot win? It was a thousand dollar jackpot. Nancy F.

Credit Samuel Johnson for establishing the tradition that has evolved into the present-day tip. In the 18th century London coffee houses, Johnson and his friends would hand their server a slip of paper with coins attached. On the paper was written, "To Insure Promptness." The modern acronym of this phrase, "tip", apparently derives from the handy strategy of that band of cronies.

Fast forward a couple hundred years and even Sammy probably couldn't come up with a set amount of what you should tip slot personal on a hand pay. In a casino restaurant with good service, upwards of 15 to 20 percent is the norm. But table service is different from counting out 10 Ben Franklins; moreover, the $1,000 jackpot doesn't take into consideration that it may have cost you $800 to get your windfall.

That said, most front-line slot employees get paid minimum wage or close to it. Additional income comes through the gratuities of casino patrons, like you, Nancy. Slot employees need those gestures of gratuity to make a living.

Whether you tip or not, Nancy, and how much, is essentially up to you. As one who over tips, my 2¢ worth would be wide of the mark. So I called a friend who has worked for over 30 years in the slot departments of five different casinos to get his take. He recommended $15-$25 to the slot attendant who made the hand pay if the individual had been helpful and pleasant towards you, and you didn't have to wait forever to get your winnings.

The bottom line, Nancy, is to tip only what you are comfortable with, and tip only for good service. Even I, with 20 years on the inside, won't tip a put-out casino employee.

Dear Mark: I have been playing video poker for about a decade now and have yet to hit a royal flush. I get to the casino about four times a year, usually play on quarter machines, and typically stay about four hours. Shouldn't I have hit a royal by now? Sherry C.

Scarce as they are, Sherry, hitting any royal, even with a draw, is a rarity. Even with identifying machines with a decent payback, and employing perfect play, those elusive royal flushes appear, on average, once in every 40,000 hands.

Let's crunch your individual numbers. Sounds bad, but it's painless. Four hours of play per session, multiplied by four times a year over a decade, and let's say 200 hands an hour, would put your hand total at 32,000 hands. That's still a bit short of the 40,000-hand average of hitting one.

Will you eventually hit a royal? I can't say with 100% certainty that you will. I know plenty of players who have hit way more than their fair share of royals, others who have hit far fewer than they should have. What I can say is that the more you play, the more you increase the likelihood that you will hit one.

In the meantime, Sherry, the house edge, without hitting a royal flush on a 25 cent Jacks-or-better 9/6 machine is, 2.5%, all while you'll keep yearning for that royal.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: The most sensible advice that may be given to would-be gamblers, or inventors of systems to be used at Monte Carlo, may be summed up in a single word: "Don't". - Francois Blanc (1806) the nineteenth-century entrepreneur who established the Monet Carlo Casino

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Jackpot Tip Amount Video Poker Royal Flush

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

July 16, 2010

Come One, Come All

Dear Mark: I walked up to a crap table with a free play $80 coupon and told the dealer that I wanted to make a Pass Line bet. He informed me that I would have to wait until the point was made (which I did) but also said you can still make the same bet now. I'm new to craps, but what did he mean by I have to wait, but I could still make it now. I'm confused. Scooter T.

The dealer, Scooter, was speaking of a wager akin to a Pass Line bet called a Come bet, which allows you to make a wager while a round is in progress and after the Pass line point has been established.

To make a Come bet, you place your wager in the Come box, and the next roll becomes your come bet's "come out roll." The next point that the shooter rolls becomes your personal point. If the shooter repeats your point number, you win, and if the shooter rolls a seven before your point shows again, you lose.

The rules of Pass line bets apply as well to the Come bet.

Once your bet is in the Come box, and before your personal point has been established, if the shooter rolls a natural (7 or 11), the Come bet wins. If the shooter rolls craps (2, 3 or 12), the bet is lost. Also, just as in a Pass line bet, once placed, your bet cannot be removed. The Come bet pays even money.

In addition, Scooter, once a number becomes a Come bet point, you are allowed to add odds to your bet. The dealer will place the odds on top of the come bet, slightly off center so it makes a distinction between your original bet and the odds.

Come bettors can find themselves in a situation where they have a come bet (possibly with odds on it), and the next roll is a come-out roll. With this scenario, the odds bets on the Come wagers are presumed to be NOT working for the come-out roll.

In such a case -- where the shooter rolls a 7 on the come-out roll -- any players with active Come bets waiting for their personal come-point would lose their initial wager but would have their odds money returned to them.

If your point is rolled, the Come bet wins and the odds are returned. You can inform the dealer that you want your odds working so they can also win if the shooter rolls your come point. Obviously, if a seven is rolled first, cinco dos, adios, they both lose.

Dear Mark: How does the casino get its edge at Pai Gow Poker, and what is that edge? Mike H.

Pai Gow poker begins with each player being dealt seven cards. Without a draw, you skillfully arrange your cards into two poker hands, one of five cards and the other of two. To win, both your five-card hand and your two-card hand must beat the banker's corresponding hands. Winning one hand and losing the other is a push or tie, where you neither win, nor lose.

These same rules apply to the banker. His or her five-card hand and two-card hand must beat both your five and two-card hands, respectively. The one exception, and one rule where the house gets its edge, is when the dealer has a "copy." A copy is where the player and banker have identical two-card or five-card hands. For instance, if both you and the dealer each have a Jack/six as your two-card hands, it's a copy, and it always goes to the dealer. That's the first drawback, Mike, but a further stumbling block is that the casino improves its edge by taking a five percent commission from each winning bet. For example, if you win a $20 wager, you are paid $20 (1 to 1 odds), but then you must fork over to the dealer a 5% "tax" ($1) on your winnings.

As for that house edge, Mike, if you play your cards right, tooling that perfect basic strategy like the pro your friends all think you are, you can grind the casino advantage down to 2.5%.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: I agree that gambling is anti-social, but at least it keeps people away from television. - Anonymous US Clergyman to Author Bernard Newman reported in his 1960s book, Mr. Kennedy's America

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Craps Pass Line Come Bet Odds Pai Gow Poker Odds Edge

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

July 9, 2010

Lady once asked me, "Which is the longer end of the rope?"

Dear Mark: I have heard that loosest quarter machines pay better than the tightest dollar machines. Is that true? Shelly T.

It depends, Shelly. Some casinos do have some very high-paying quarter machines and some stingy dollar machines. The only way to know for sure is to ask someone with authority in the slot department like the slot director or slot manager.

It's the slot manager that decides the slot mix, which are the placement, positioning and payoffs of slot machines on the casino floor. Typically though, dollar machines usually have higher long-term paybacks than quarter machines, even loose ones.

Furthermore, Shelly, even on a loose quarter machine side-by-side to a sparing dollar machine, it is important to remember that the paybacks on both are based on the long haul, not a short run. So-o-o-o-o, the $200 you play through a loose quarter machine won't necessarily return to your pocket more than the same couple centuries fed into the tight dollar cousin.

Dear Mark: Which is a better choice, playing a Megabucks slot machine or the Powerball lottery? Susan L.

If you are asking about the hitting the "Big Kahuna," you are more likely to hit the top jackpot on a Megabucks machine than to win the top prize with the Powerball lottery.

The odds of hitting a life-altering Megabucks machine are about 30,000,000 to one and in Powerball are one in 195,249,054. Either way, your chances of hitting the big one are a teensy weensy bit better than zilch, so we should put the top prize numbers aside, and look at a couple different reasons to see whether a Megabucks slot machine offers a better bet than does a Powerball lottery ticket.

Lotteries don't offer returns of 80 percent or more of the money wagered by its players. Sure, Megabucks's downside is that its long-term paybacks are usually the lowest in the casino, but still, that jingle in the coin tray is more than you typically get from a lottery ticket.

Megabucks is paid in annual installments, whereas you can get your Powerball payoff, albeit half, up front.

Two hundred dollars gives you a year's worth of Powerball tickets, whereas $200 on a Megabucks machine can be lost in mere minutes.

Personally, Susan, I would just stick to casino wagers that have less than a two percent house edge. Advice aside, I'll leave the long-shot choice up to you of either bucking up three dollars (3-coin bet) a pop versus a weekly contribution to state education. Get back to me on which you choose.

Dear Mark: On slot machines that have buttons to stop the reels, does stopping them at different intervals have anything to do with your chances of winning? Marge S.

Many players, Marge, get their jollies from the display of the spinning reels awaiting the "where it stops, nobody knows." Pressing the Stop Spin button cuts out the fun factor that some enjoy, but it has no effect whatsoever on the results of the spin. The outcome would be the same whether you did or did not press the button.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: Gambling is neither an immoral nor a noble exercise; it is motivated by both foolish and rational considerations. - Alex Rubner author of Fringe Benefits: The Golden Chains 1962 and The Economics of Gambling 1966

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Loose Slots Megabucks Vs Lottery Stop Button On Slot

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

July 2, 2010

In unison, yell "Monkey Monkey"

Dear Mark: Why do they shout "Monkey Monkey" on a baccarat game? What do monkeys have to do with baccarat? Jon T.

The first time that I ever dealt mini-baccarat, Jon, I had a couple Asian players on the game that kept yelling "Monkey, Monkey." I thought they were making fun of me being a newbie dealing the game, which I was okay with, because they at least knew that Tipping was not a suburb of Shanghai. Fast-forward a few shifts and I did learn that Monkey Monkey is the nickname for baccarat’s picture cards.

Supposedly the original word was Monarchy, referring to the face cards (kings, queens and knaves), but "Monarchy" was diluted, degraded, and dropped out of fashion, eventually moldering into "Monkey".

An example of when you might hear the "monkey" holler is when the Bank and the Player are tied 0-0, giving each "baccarat." Say the majority of action is on the Player hand, which draws first, and is dealt a five. At the moment the Bank hand is drawing, the bettors would shout, "Monkey, Monkey," hoping the Bank hand will hit a face card or 10, giving the hand a score of 0, which makes the Player hand the winner.

Dear Mark: Was there a chance to bet on the final outcome of that historic tennis match at Wimbledon on day three? Marty D.

Outside of hoping to see a woman win the Indy 500, I thought I had pretty much seen all I want to see when it comes to sports records. Then last week a friend in Lucerne, Switzerland emails me asking, "are you watching this?" No, but why miss a "where were you when?" moment.

With both ESPN channels on my cable covering the FIFA World Cup, I hopped on my laptop to the ESPN website to catch it at 28 all, fifth set. Then at 59-59 the match was called for the second day due to darkness and Nicolas Mahut and John Isner were told to show up courtside at 3:30 the following day, which as a rule would NOT lead to another betting opportunity.

Typically in tennis, in the event of circumstances like, a change of playing surface, a change of venue, second or third day play, or a change from indoor court to outdoor court or vice versa, your wager would stand, even if you bet the match two days earlier when it began. Betting a tennis match in progress I’m not familiar with.

Regrettably, Marty, your e-mail came three days after the conclusion of the match, so I didn’t get the opportunity to call someone in Las Vegas to check the boards to see if they were taking any bets at 59-all. My own curiosity though had me check websites abroad to find that many had listed the wager, but almost all had it OFF, no action. I did find a few online bookmakers willing to take your hard-earned money with odds set at N. Mahut (FRA) -110 and J. Isner (USA) -130, meaning, betting on Mahut -110 indicates you must risk $110 to win $100. Wagering on Isner -130 signifies you stake $130 to win $100.

I believe those third day odds were handicapped -130 Isner because he had the distinct advantage of serving first, forcing Mahut to hold serve to stay in the match.

This five-set thriller was not only the longest match in Wimbledon history, but it was also the longest match in tennis history. Isner finally sealed the deal with an incredible 70-68 win.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: Gambling is a way of buying hope on credit. - Alan Wykes Gambling 1964

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Monkey Monkey Baccarat Game Brtting Wimbledon

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

June 25, 2010

Slot personnel will be your happy guide

Dear Mark: Maybe it's a frivolous question you have already answered, but which quarter slot machines typically offer the highest returns? Ron G.

No problem here, Ron, about you being fussy over such details. For all I know Persnickety is your middle name.

Where you will find quarter slot machines that have the highest payback is at casinos that advertise a guaranteed return of 98-99 percent return on "selected machines."

Granted, Ron, "selected machines" can be few and far between on the casino floor, and these high payback slots are usually only found where the casino competition is fervent. When you do find a casino advertising liberal paybacks, you'll then need to ask someone in slot personnel which machines those are.

Oh, and just in case you find some generous machines with decent paybacks, the higher payout rate only applies if you don't continue to bet your winning credits. Unfortunately, that's not the way most people play. They recycle (churn) their money back through the machines. Casino operators have long realized the advantage they have between an advertised payout and the coinage they eventually reap by comparing credits won versus credits paid out.

When credits won are generally replayed, and replayed and replayed again, this results mathematically in a much greater chance of eventually lowering that liberal payback considerably. Sure, the casino may advertise a 98 percent return, but after the churn takes place, you'll generally go home lighter in the wallet.

Other slots to look for when you can't find machines that advertise such-n-such paybacks are those that do not offer bonus rounds, brand-name affiliations and progressive jackpots. For example, Red White and Blue and Double Diamonds are examples of stand-alone machines that would fall into this group.

Dear Mark: Could you tell me the percentage against the player of the "Dragon Bonus" wager in Mini Baccarat? John A.

Dragon Bonus is an optional side wager for Mini Baccarat that pays odds according to the point spread between the Players and Bankers totals.

Players have two ways to win. When their selected hand (banker or player) for the Dragon Bonus bet is a natural winner, or, when their selected hand wins by four or more points.

Like most side bets to be had, the house edge is usually inferior to what is offered by the customary wagers on the game. Dragon Bonus on Mini Baccarat is no exception.

With stakes that are relatively low when you play on a mini-baccarat table, and a house advantage of either 1.17% when betting the Bank hand or 1.36% with a Player hand wager, I would recommend your skipping the Dragon Bonus wager altogether since you are already sitting on two of the best bets the casino has to offer. No need to dilute an already good deal. But since you asked, the Player Dragon Bonus has a house edge of 2.65%, and surprisingly, even though Baccarat is a Banker advantage game, the Banker Dragon Bonus house edge is 9.37%.

Gambling Wisdom of Week: Poker pros should be a little less contemptuous of the amateur players, who they like to refer to as 'fish,' or 'donkeys.' Most of these so-called 'fish' and 'donkeys' probably hold down respectable jobs that contribute to society, unlike what the pros do for a living. --VP Pappy

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Quarter Slot Machine Odds Dragon Bonus Mini Baccarat

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

June 18, 2010

Well, the first thing you know ol' Jan's a millionaire

Dear Mark: When a slot player hits a big one, for instance 10 million dollar jackpot, is it paid in installments or in its entirety? Jan S.

It depends, Jan, on the machine, although the majority, like Megabucks, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, The Price is Right, etc., are " annuity games " where you do NOT receive your total winnings up front but are paid instead in annual installments. The clear-cut way to find out which-is-which is simply to read what's printed on the face of the machine. There it will tell you straight away if it's an annuity game or an immediate full-pay win.

If you're looking for an up front payment of the entire jackpot there are exceptions, like Mega Riches or many of the TV Hits games, which come from the MegaJackpots Instant Winners line of machines from IGT. They offer awards that are paid entirely upon verification of the win.

When your casino jackpot is authenticated, a jackpot response representative will ask you to present two different forms of identification showing you are who you are, to sign tax forms like a W2G, and then present you with a check for the first of 25 annual installments, whereas, if you happen to be playing a TV Hit game like The Beverly Hillbillies, you're now a Clampett getting all your loot instantly.

Also note, Jan, that the banker, played by Milburn Drysdale, is usually NOT the casino, but a manufacturer like IGT. They pay off those "geeenormous" progressive jackpots.

With any luck, Jan, you may one day beat those long, long odds and load up the truck and move to Beverly. Or, if your prize money is paid yearly, live the 25 years to spend it. If better paying slots in heaven happen to intercede, the remaining earthly annual payments will be made to any surviving trustees or beneficiaries.

Dear Mark: If the casino has a major event, like a concert by a very popular band, do they tighten the machines to cover the cost of the band? Frank S.

The only way, Frank, for a casino to change the payback on a machine is to change one or more chips in the machine, and it's just not cost-effective for the casino to continually alter the payouts on their machines, even if the Beach Boys are playing there.

To alter the percentage return in their favor, the casino must, by law, make a hardware change. This is done by swapping out an internal component, the ROM portion of the microprocessor chip. ROM, or read only memory, is a chip the slot manufacturer provides to the casino. Besides, such surgery being labor intensive, it's very costly for a casino to have two payback chipsets for their machines.

Furthermore, Frank, some state gaming commissions won't even allow casinos to switch chips in-house. Casinos in those jurisdictions have to send the machines back to the manufacturer for any alterations.

What you may see instead is an abbreviated performance by the bands that play the casino circuit. Instead of a typical two-hour show, they will play for an hour and a half. The gate may end up making the act a loss leader for the house, but a shortened show and a captive crowd can make a big difference to the bottom line, once those showroom doors open and possessed gamblers flood the casino floor looking for a slot fix.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: In Vegas everything is done to make you gamble and forget all else. There is food and drink and music and women - who all play their part in eliminating Methodist principles from your mind. - Sir Clement Freud Sporting Life 1994

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Megabucks Jackpot Annuity Games Tighten Machines Payback

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

June 11, 2010

A Flush at the Outhouse

Dear Mark: We have a fairly new casino where I live that locals have nicknamed "the Outhouse," because it's impossible to get it a Flush there. Get it? It is so obvious that I actually have taken pen and paper and kept track of the action. A couple of times, I have kept a four-card flush 24 times before filling it, but the norm is between 14 to 17 hands. What are the real odds of filing a four card flush with a deck of 52 cards? Dick L.

"The Outhouse." That's funny.

A flush is a hand ranking directly below a full house and immediately above a straight that contains five cards of the same suit. Once dealt four of an alike suit and you discard the loner, the odds of hitting a flush with the four similar suited cards is nine of the remaining 47 cards, which is 19.1% or 5.222 to 1.

Here's the deal, Dick. Video poker results are determined at random. Just because you didn't catch a flush with the frequency predicted by barnyard math, it doesn't mean that you are being ripped off. You are just experiencing the randomness of video poker machines against your relatively short gambling timeline.

Also, Dick, I hope you are not keeping some four-card flushes in lieu of better hands. You should always keep a high pair over a typical flush, like a 2, 5, 9 and Queen of spades, but a non-paying four-card flush hand with more value than a high pair is a four-card royal flush and any four-card straight flush. Both of these hands have a higher Expected Value than a high pair and should be held intact.

Dear Mark: I was on a crap game that had a pretty decent roll going. So figuring anything would work, I threw out a $5 chip and called for a Hard 10. Seven rolls, and the shooter screams at me for causing it. Why me? I didn't interfere in any way with the dice, and I didn't toss the seven, he did. Dan L.

Hey, Dan, not to nit pick you play -- you do know a hard 10 has a house edge of 11.1% -- but you might have left out an itsy bitsy detail in your e-mail, that being, trying to place a bet after the shooter had the dice in his hands. That's a no-no on a craps table.

I'm surprised the dealer didn't call out "no more bets," but even so, a late bet not only goes against craps etiquette, but amongst the superstitious, it creates bad luck.

Dear Mark: Last year I hit my first five-figure jackpot on a slot machine. Since then, it seems even smaller jackpots have dropped off considerably. When I insert my Player's Card, and I get the slot machines message welcoming me (Marty) back to a casino, does the machine I am playing on know that I recently won a decent sized jackpot, and it is time to get back some of those winnings? Marty S.

Congratulations, Marty, on your first, of -- hopefully -- many more big jackpots to come.

I'm sure the casino would love to get back some of your winnings, but fortunately, the Player's Card software within doesn't have the capability to signal the machine that Marty had won a decent sized jackpot on a previous visit and it's high time for you to start giving it back. What you may notice though is an increase of special offers coming in the mail to induce your return so the casino can take a whack at that five-figure jackpot you won.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: Even in their wildest dreams, casino owners could not possibly have concocted anything to match a slot machine's raw capacity to generate revenue. --Lou Krieger & Arthur Reber, Strictly Slots

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Casino Flush Odds Craps Hard 10 Slot Jackpot

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

June 4, 2010

Fellow asked me once if I recommended winning

Dear Mark: Would you recommend playing slots when the casino is crowded? It seems more jackpots are hit when I play in the evening than during the day when it is less crowded. Jan B.

Yes, Jan, you are more likely to see and hear jackpots hit in the evening when the casino is packed full of players, but it's not because a Wizard behind a curtain throws some secret switch to instantly loosen their machines because the joint is hopping.

More jackpots are hit at peak times in crowded casinos simply because there are more people playing. But even with the increased number of players gaming, that still has no effect on whether or not a machine will pay off.

Let's say it's a Saturday night and you're in a casino that offers 3,500 slot machines, each programmed to pay a decent sized jackpot every 25,000 yanks of the handle. With a casino full to capacity, and players spinning those (their) wheels 400 times per hour, from eight to midnight the slots will collectively whirl 5,600,000 times over that four hour period, creating 224 hand-pay jackpots.

Compare that to Thursday morning with only 200 players playing slots. The pulls remain the same at 400 per hour, but those players will collectively spin the reels only 320,000 times, averaging only 12.8 jackpots.

Side-by-side, 224 jackpots on a busy night versus 12.8 on a slow day you can easily say yes, more jackpots are hit in the evening. Yet, your chances of being one of those to hit a jackpot remain the same, be it slow day or a busy night.

Dear Mark: Just reading your column, I now do two things religiously. Play on games that have less than a two percent house advantage, and always use basic strategy. The two games I play the most are $1 Jacks-or-better video poker on a 9/6 machine, when I can find it, and $5 blackjack. All things being equal, would you advise playing video poker or blackjack? Ted M.

First, Ted, congratulations on employing basic strategy when doing battle against the casino. A blackjack player who knows basic strategy narrows the house edge to less than half of one percent, while the average player bucks more like a 2 to 2.5 percent house advantage. Yet with video poker, even with keen play, minus the royal, which happens once every 40,000 hands and accounts for approximately two percent of your overall payback, you're up against a 2.5 percent house edge.

Next we need to figure out the overall cost per hour of play. Video poker is a much faster game than blackjack. You'll conservatively play 400 hands an hour at video poker versus 60 at a blackjack table, so in an average one-hour session, minus a royal, you'll lose a whole lot more money at video poker ($50) than at blackjack ($1.50). Then again, you don't have the opportunity to win $4,000 (a royal) betting $5 a pop at blackjack.

So, Ted, all things being equal, I would personally lean towards blackjack, but not based exclusively on the math, but also on the fun factor. I just happen to enjoy blackjack more than video poker. My recommendation, though, would be to play the game you have the most fun at, and if it is video poker, and you get your fair share of royals, then there is no need to fret the up-front house edge.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: To be a poker champion, you must have a strong bladder. --Jack McClelland, poker pro

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: Slot Jackpots House Advange Blackjack Video Poker

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Deal Me In by Mark Pilarski

May 28, 2010

Can anything honestly be that elusive? Oh, yeah!

Dear Mark: Four times this past weekend I was dealt four cards to a royal flush, and I didn't hit one. Why not all five cards as opposed to just four? Also, can a video poker machine be programmed to deal four cards to a royal to encourage continued play on my part, and then be programmed to never allow me a royal flush? Ellen R.

The ever-elusive royal flush, Ellen, is the best hand you can make in video poker. It receives the highest payout available and it occurs whenever you string together an A-K-Q-J-T of the same suit. A four-card royal flush draw is the combination of any of the four cards necessary to make a royal flush, such as a T-Q-K-A of spades.

Getting any royal, even with a draw, is a rarity. Try approximately once every 40,000 hands. With a 52-card deck there are 2,598,960 possible hands, and only four of them can be royal dealt naturally. This means the odds of being dealt a royal flush without the need of a draw are 1 in 649,740. Them's not very good odds, is they, Ellen?

Preventing big winning hands like royal flushes from appearing their theoretical number of times could be accomplished by secondary decision programming. A good programmer could write code that allows the computer within to stop a hand that is about to be dealt in favor of a different hand. But in a highly regulated industry like casinos, with most jurisdictions following Nevada's regulation that the machines deal from a fair deck, it is safe to assume honesty in the machine you were playing.

Dear Mark: Because you have to bet $110 to win $100 on most sports wagers, does that mean the house edge on a football game is 10 percent? That seems awful high to me. Dale C.

When it comes to sports betting, Dale, the last thing the casino wants is to be top heavy on any one team. They leave the gambling up to you and would prefer to just balance the books on every game. That's what the point spread is for. Getting identical action on both sides.

Your cost -- the house edge -- on any sporting bet where you wager $110 to win $100 is 4.55 percent. That extra $10 is NOT a percentage edge, but a commission or vigorish (a.k.a. vig), taken by the house as compensation for allowing you to bet on the game.

For example, let's say that both you and I are betting on the Detroit/Green Bay football game. You favor the Packers, while I'm on the Detroit Lions. We each bet $110, which gives the sports book a total cash inflow of $220. If you win, you turn in your winning ticket and get back $210 --- your original $110 plus $100 in winnings. Now here's the barnyard math, Dale, which will get you to that 4.55 percent casino advantage.

The house edge is the $10 the casino keeps from the $220 total we staked on the game. Divide 10 by 220, and you get .0455. Now multiply .0455 by 100 to convert to a percentage, which gives the house 4.55 percent of total we bet on the game. Ah, but that's the edge on both of our wagers. The percentage of sports bets you have to win to break even against the house is at least 52.28 percent of any point-spread wagers you make.

Gambling Wisdom of the Week: Playing poker with great players is like trying to juggle a chainsaw, machete, and an axe. One mistake and you lose a hand. --VP Pappy

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You can email Mark your questions at pilarski -at- markpilarski.com

Tags: 4 Cards To A Royal Flush Sports Betting

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